Bored? I did. I
was. Not very often, but enough for me to remember asking my mom what I should
do. Most of the time I had a keenly curious mind, and taught myself how to
decipher spy codes, or typewrite, or illustrate little books I had written, or
play my harp or create ‘Find a Words’. But then those dreary, gray brain moments would
occasionally sneak up and I’d be a blank. Probably I needed to allow my mind
some quiet down-time, but that’s not what kids do.
As an adult, I’m
never bored. I hate the thought of being bored. And I really hate the thought of being boring.
Especially boring to myself. We’re all so fascinating to ourselves; so if I find
myself boring.... Whoa. That means I’m booooring to others.
There were a few
times as an adult that I recognized I was being a boring person. It scared the
shit out of me. Life is much too fascinating to be bored for a moment. But I
was. I remember one day I went to an arts festival in Georgetown and saw some
old friends. They were being utterly fascinating. They were showing art and new
films and playing improvised music on handmade instruments to the new films.
They had just returned from exotic trips in exotic hot and cold climates and were about to
start painting a series of 'abstract erotics' for a new show coming up in the fall. They had visited weird
houses with shrunken heads. And some of these friends looked really hot, with jet black hair and
cool jewelry and they just glowed. They were ALIVE.
‘My God,’ I said
to myself. ‘I am boring. I haven’t traveled or created any art in so long. I
haven’t picked up any of my instruments, let alone composed in eons... I have
been gardening.” Okay, so my garden could, with some generosity, be considered a work of art... but it
was different. The thing was, I was boring myself. I had lost the desire to
risk, to push my comfort zone. And I hated it. I hated how I felt that day.
‘Fuck this boring life,’ I thought to myself. That day marked the beginning of
something new. Or rather, of going back to what I’d always done my whole life. What I call:
'Getting into trouble.’
...to be continued...
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Have you ever felt bored? Do you ever feel boring? If so, what does it feel like to you, and how do you change it (if you have)? I'd love to hear your thoughts and stories!
